Thanksgiving

My post this week was going to resemble a kindergartener's essay on the things I am thankful for...good health, my family, my friends, food on the table, the amazing privilege to be on this voyage...

I have been suddenly stopped in my tracks, however. And though there have been times before when this tragic road has been traveled, it does not become easier, it does not become more navigable, it does not become okay. It feels like a fist has been thrust through my gut. There has been a life lost, the life of a young man from my community who is my daughter's age, a young man whose family, like mine, has spent years of their life dedicated to their children and their activities and sports, a young man who died in battle serving in the US Marines.

I am without words, speechless. Emotions overcome. I do not believe in war. And it is with absolutely no disrespect that I make this statement. I acknowledge and support all the young men and women and families that serve our country in unquestioning patriotism. As my children grow older, however, and as life appears more fragile, it just seems that the loss of a young person feels more tragic and unnecessary.

So this Thanksgiving what I would like to give thanks for is life. The precious breaths that we take for granted daily, the precious moments of life that we share with our children, our family, our friends, and  that which gives meaning to our life. For we simply do not know when it will be taken away, and we do not know why it will be taken away...but make no mistake, it will be taken away. So I am thankful for the time, this time that I have, with this life that I have, with the people that I have. I am thankful.

So take a moment to breathe some life into your moments. Create the life that you dream of and then live it. Life is precious. Breathe. Be alive. Be thankful.


                                                         Joshua 'Chachi' Corral, USMC
                                                              12/30/1991- 11/18/2011

The Calm Before the Storm

Entirely relaxed, perfectly still, calm and peaceful life. Pacific Beach has been simply therapeutic. I have listened to the ocean, listened to the rain, and watched the sunset all from my little cottage on the beach. I have worked out for hours a day (because, quite frankly, what else do I have to do?), I have read, I have written.

My son's last football game of the year was on Saturday, so we took our final trek to Salem, Oregon this weekend to watch his 42nd and final college game. My daughter made the trek as well, but fairly uneventful, except the reflection of the past 21 years and the past 33 of his sport seasons (37 if you count regular Little League and All-Star Little League as separate seasons, which they were). This portion of my journey is over. And so this chapter is complete.

In two weeks we will be back in California, back in the fast lane, and tying up loose ends, getting rid of the last of our winter clothes, taking our shorts and tank tops and flip flops and Aloha shirts and dresses out of storage and packing them for our one-way journey to paradise. Having our final San Francisco meal at Scoma's on the wharf, and our last cheers in San Francisco over irish coffees at The Buena Vista. We will be visiting family in Half Moon Bay, San Jose, and Fremont, as well as close friends in Danville. We will visit the Wine Country and have a last champagne toast on the Mainland. We will be dropping off Keanu, our Honda Element, for his journey across the sea, and we will do all of this in 6 days.

It is tiring to think that I will have all this movement in such a short period of time, as I now am perfectly still, with little or no movement. Perfectly still, entirely relaxed, calm and peaceful life. The calm before the storm, the perfect quiet and still before a period of motion, movement and change. I shall sit back and enjoy this quiet, enjoy my free time, enjoy my last period of stillness for a while.

'Change means movement. Movement means friction. Only in the frictionless vacuum of a nonexistent abstract world can movement or change occur without that abrasive friction of conflict.
Saul Alinsky

Great Expectations

Expectations are inevitable...we all have them; for events, jobs, relationships, careers and life itself. So the question becomes where and how do we set our expectations? And where do our expectations come from? In getting prepared for this move to Kauai, and the numerous stops along the way, there have been expectations of what each step would look and feel like. A picture or snapshot of what each step will be...yet just a few weeks into our journey, I have had expectations that have already been met, been exceeded, and fallen short in different areas...there are expectations for everything, from a dining experience, to interactions with people, to the weather, to life events. So without going into great detail of the different pleasant surprises and great disappointments of the journey thus far, my question is simply how these expectations become formed, and our feelings of satisfaction when they have been met or exceeded, and our very real disappointment and hurt when our expectations have not been met.

“The best things in life are unexpected - because there were no expectations.” Eli Khamarov

So does having an expectation for an event or a relationship potentially harm the enjoyment or satisfaction that you can receive?
If an expectation is met, then it simply has satisfied and completed the task and purpose that it was supposed to have in the first place. If an expectation has been exceeded, then there is a great sense of pleasure and surprise, for it was not something that was anticipated, and so it comes as a welcomed gift and addition to anything that was originally intended...but if an expectation is not met or satisfied, whether it be for a job or event, or expectation of a friendship or relationship, or even for a life path, there is disappointment, hurt and sense of failure in the shortcoming...and that pleasure that would have been derived is overlooked because the falling short of expectation is the only thing that we can focus on.

So perhaps the secret to all life satisfaction is just in setting the proper expectations...and he who is capable of succeeding in that task is the most fulfilled.