On the Grid Again: A City Vacation

Well. I just returned from a 12-day long vacation on the Mainland...and where does someone who lives a simple island life go on vacation? The city. With skyscrapers and shopping malls and bridges spanning large bodies of water, back to civilization...and it was fun and amazing, maybe the best vacation ever.

First stop, Portland. My son graduated with his MBA from Willamette University's Atkinson School of Business...on Mother's Day. What a gift, a year since I had seen my children last. It was a day full of joy and pride and happiness. Four nights spent in Portland, kids, shopping, the beginning of a 12-day fine dining journey, a Bikram yoga class in a new studio in Portland, and did I mention great meals and no sales tax??

On to San Francisco, the familiar, the place I called home for nearly all my life. It was so much fun to be there...I ate food in restaurants that I had been craving for months, I ate in new restaurants I had always wanted to go to, I saw some of my best friends and colleagues, I was a tourist in my own city, took pictures of the Bay Bridge and Union Square, and had a smile on my face the entire time...it was honestly the funnest few days I have had in a long while.

And lastly to the South Bay, San Jose, to stay with my brother and family...I spent time with them, my father, got to see my niece in her school talent show, got to go to my nephew's little league game, and have a family dinner with my aunt and uncle and cousins as well.

Such a well-rounded vacation, a perfect balance of family, friends, home and city. I enjoyed every minute of my time off the island...and yet, I am so happy and tranquil being back home, on my island, my new home.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is such an all encompassing word, we are told we should forgive, that it is a virtue to forgive, that it will set you free...and yet when we speak of forgiveness, so often we are speaking of forgiving another person, someone and something external to us.

I have been spending a lot of time alone, in a beautiful place. And I have lately been having pangs of extreme happiness and joy...and in my moments of overwhelm, I question why and how I am feeling this way, why and how I deserve this...and I have realized the answer. I have been having surges of forgiveness...forgiveness to myself. 

I have for years and years held myself to such a high standard. I have spent a lifetime judging myself. And though I still have that high standard for myself, I have of late allowed myself room to breathe, room to be human, and have allowed myself to begin to forgive the countless mistakes that I have made in my lifetime...the same countless mistakes that I forgive in others...yet I have allowed that forgiveness to roll in my direction and I have allowed myself the same compassion that I direct towards others.

And in that forgiveness and compassion, I see and feel happiness. True happiness. I am a fun-loving and kind person, light in spirit and at times, even funny:)  I am enjoying the times of lightness...enjoying being happy...and I am realizing that I am as entitled to that feeling as anyone else...there is no telling what I can bring to the world with my positive light and energy...to be continued:)