The Empty Nest

Up until now, for the most part, I have been writing about my personal journey forward. To say that my life has changed dramatically in the past two years would be completely undermining the reality of my existence. Instead of treading forward on a path that was already etched out for me, I chose a fork in the road, a dirt path, and am proceeding forward on a path and future unknown, with complete faith that this is the journey that I was meant to be on...there are days that I question my intention and purpose, and there are days that I revel in the beauty and the freedom and the clarity. All days are part of the journey and process...

But there are some days that I reflect back, back to such a different reality. I am a mother, first and foremost, and though I look forward and move forward, I have heartstrings that forever are connected to two hearts. 

Not too many years ago, the schedule of my week, my month, my year and my life, was dictated by my children's schedule. Baseball season, softball season, daily swim team practice, swim meets, all-star baseball, soccer, football, basketball, choir rehearsals, performances, oh, and there was school, and children who got hot breakfasts and homemade lunches and comfort food for dinner....I was team mom, room mom and working mom. I was a mom. My joy and my fears were entwined in theirs...Harmon batting with 2 outs and the go ahead run at third base, Arya trying out for a solo in choir, Harmon missing a block or tackle, or getting a sack, Harmon becoming president of Greenbrook Elementary, Arya being 'Most-Valuable Alto", making Jazz Choir...my heart would pound and ache and rejoice in their moments. Their moments were my moments. Harmon delivered a brilliant speech during his high school baccalaureate, and Arya sang an amazing song, 'Hero', at her baccalaureate. In both cases, I had a difficult time containing my emotion, and I could literally feel my heart beating out of my chest...but they both were brilliant, they both 'nailed it' and the overwhelming feeling of pride and joy is hard to describe or express.

I have an empty nest now, but I have amazing children. They are beautiful people, inside and out. They are kind, they are sincere, they are not afraid of hard work, and anything they do, they do whole-heartedly. And though the schedule of my life no longer is dictated by theirs, I still remain their biggest fans, my heart still aches and rejoices in their moments, and they still give me an overwhelming feeling of pride and joy. 

And today I reflect, as I see many of my friends and family all still in the midst of the everyday...cherish this time, as it will soon be a reflection, and you will soon be reflecting on your memories and your own reflection.